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she makes me wanna die [Oct. 2nd, 2005|11:11 pm]
[Current Mood |quixoticquixotic]
[Current Music |Angel - Tricky]

so what's been going on? A whole lot of nothing. Lab work has been one delay after another. The machine that I break open cells to purify protein from broke down on Monday of last week. It uses high pressure to drive cells/fluid through a reaction chamber of small capillaries, at about 23,000 PSI. One of the seals broke on the main piston. So we had to wait till the seals came in, break it down, fix it and run it through tests. On Friday things looked good. Today, I get up to and go into lab, intending to work the entire day to get back on track. Well, the air compressor that provides the high pressure air has died or shut down or something. I don't know and there's nothing I can do to fix it till tomorrow, because its on the roof/13th floor of my building and is not accessable by mere mortals or pissed off grad students. GRRR!!!

Friday night, Matt and I went to Serenity. Well, we went to Pizzaria Uno, where Matt had real Chicago-style pizza. Then we went to the UPS store to pick up a package that Matt recieved. THEN we went to Serenity. Wow. Saturday, I intended to go to lab but was so wound up, I couldn't sleep. So I woke up late. I convinced Matt we should go see Serenity again. He's easy. So we saw an matinee. Matt invited me to a shindig w/ his new lady, a 2nd year med student. It was almost all med students. UGH! I'm sure they are fine people, but talk about bubble babies. They have no experiences outside their own group and the theoretical. They seem smart, quite nice and friendly, but I didn't have much to say to them. Its not like I can talk about science or politics or the fuzzy line between them. They aren't scientists or humanists or anything; they are totally focused on becoming doctors. I don't blame them, it just seems like I have nothing in common w/ them. Matt tells me his lady commented about me later. "He seems nice." I don't know if that's her catch all of 'doesn't kill babies at night' or she was really surprised I was nice or something. Just kinda generic, PC and totally bland.

Finished the 1st collection of Global Frequency by Ellis. Fucking amazing shit. Also finished Gaiman's new book, Anansi Boys. If I had no talent in science (which may be born out as I carry on here), I would be a storyteller. Not just a writer or a reader or a speaker, but one who tells tales. A bard in the classical sense, and much more in the modern sense. What a wonderful life that would be. Travel, collect stories, tell them and influence people.

Speaking of books, I should really finish System of the World. Just seems I have no time for such thick material (Anansi Boys is a very light read, though that could be because its like dipping your fingers in pure, cool joy). I've stopped taking the Iliad to the gym with me and switched it out with Satyricon by Petronius. 6 hours till go time.
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its been a long time, been a long time.... [Sep. 5th, 2005|04:52 pm]
I hear ya.

So what all has gone down? Not much, actually. Spent all last week hanging with my buddy Dave, who came for a visit. We ate, and drank, and shot the shit. Went to NYC on Saturday and met up with other Kenyon friends and all of us together had bucket tea, watched breakdancing at Battery Park, saw the World Trade Hole, went into a sex toy shop, ate afghani food, had some bubble tea, walked by the Triad base in Chinatown, and got really drunk at Kenka. Dave and I then caught the 1:30 AM train back to New Haven. I'm a bit tired.

Been ansy for some gaming, so starting Werewolf up again. Going with the new setting, and trying a Joss Whedon-esqe outlook about it.

Lab work is going well but slowly. Every week I get a little bit close to my goal. Damn the squirrels.
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blarg [Jun. 18th, 2005|12:48 pm]
Its been awhile, I know. Lots of things have happened, some good, some bad. The good include going to the Kenyon reunion and seeing everyone, seeing everyone at Mike's wedding and Mike getting hitched. The bad or merely tragic are things like buying an AC, not quite installing it right as it drips water onto my floor and then the heat wave breaking into a balmy 60 F if you're lucky front. Yay.

I'm helping Ernesto move today, setting up some Western blots and either going to see Batman Begins or shooting some pool. None of these things includes me getting laid, mores the pity, but I won't be bored.
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Marxist Faeries [May. 1st, 2005|09:07 pm]
[Current Mood |artistic]
[Current Music |Listen to Your Heart - DHT]

Its May Day. What else can you believe? Che Guevara was an eshu?

Things have been going decent, which makes me wonder when the shit will hit the fan. Lab work is going well, and I'm putting in the hours and feeling content in that respect. Life at home is going fine, except for the lack of home cooked food. I really need to cook something that's not a sandwich or soup or other trash. The woman scene is non-existant. I have no idea if there are blips on the radar or not. There may have been one but it looked like a sensor bogey of some sort. C'est la vie, the dance and the dancer go on.

Went to the gym 4 times last week, Sunday through Wednesday. Rocking the casbah. I still need to put in more time in aerobic exercise, but this is a good start. It sucks when I have 3 morning meetings in a week, since I get to the gym at 6 AM and have meetings at 8:30 AM. Makes it hard to do a good weight workout and then a good aerobic exercise. Anyways, its coming along fine, I feel better and I'm sleeping better. Putting in the workout gets me up and going for the rest of the day, or at least till about 3PM where I start getting tired :) That helps me get things done, and I'm usually gone by 6 or 7 PM.

This weekend was fun. I went to NYC to visit Micah and meet Ellie. She's a trip :) We went to an izakaya, where we had a bit of food, drank lots of beer and sake, and talked lots. For 4 hours. Oh, and Emperor Hirohito watched over us. And there was a tattooed Oni Penis. Japs are super weird.

Came back and went to my werewolf game at Rachel's. We were missing a player so instead we watched Firefly. No big loss. Got to sleep about 2 AM Saturday/Sunday morning and woke up at 9 AM. Been working on a rebuttal for a paper my brother and I submitted to a shitty journal with outrageous critiques. Marine biologists making like they know molecular biology. Whatever.

Tomorrow is at once an easy and hard day. In the morning, I'm prepping a column for a protein purification on Tuesday. In the afternoon, I'm coming home and finishing the rebuttal and hopefully getting it out by tomorrow night.
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(no subject) [Apr. 28th, 2005|08:49 pm]
[Current Mood |calmcalm]

Found this quote while surfing Friendster among my links.

Side by side with the human race there runs another race of beings, the inhuman ones, the race of artists who, goaded by unknown impulses, take the lifeless mass of humanity and by the fever and ferment with which they imbue it turn this soggy dough into bread and the bread into wine and the wine into song. Out of the dead compost and the inert slag they breed a song that contaminates. I see this other race of individuals ransacking the universe, turning everything upside down, their feet always moving in blood and tears, their hands always empty, always clutching and grasping for the beyond, for the god out of reach: slaying everything within reach in order to quiet the monster that gnaws at their vitals. I see that when they tear their hair with the effort to comprehend, to seize this forever unattainable, I see that when they bellow like crazed beasts and rip and gore, I see that this is right, that there is no other path to pursue. A man who belongs to this race must stand up on the high place with gibberish in his mouth and rip out his entrails. It is right and just, because he must! And anything that falls short of this frightening spectacle, anything less shuddering, less terrifying, less mad, less intoxicated, less contaminating, is not art. The rest is counterfeit.

Its by Henry Miller. Holy shit.

Here's another

I believe that today more than ever a book should be sought after even if it has only one great page in it: we must search for fragments, splinters, toenails, anything that has ore in it, anything that is capable of resuscitating the body and soul. It may be that we are doomed, that there is no hope for us, any of us, but if that is so then let us set up a last agonizing, bloodcurdling howl, a screech of defiance, a war whoop! Away with lamentation! Away with elegies and dirges! Away with biographies and histories, and libraries and museums! Let the dead eat the dead. Let us living ones dance about the rim of the crater, a last expiring dance. But a dance!

I find this amusing cause Henry Miller led the kind of life that one of my roommates wishes to lead...but he can't quite figure out what he's missing. Some alchemical ingredient. He doesn't realize that he will never find it in the herd. Pearls cast before swine are trampled into the mud. You must go alone to the mountain, where its so cold you can see your breath in the air. There is little oxygen, the air is rarefied but that's ok. Only those who can breathe that cold lonely air can stand there and see out beyond the valley. Beware who you try to take on this hike. Some people will die instead of making it to the top.
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Strangest Dream Ever [Apr. 16th, 2005|10:21 am]
[Current Mood |weirdweird]
[Current Music |Sweet the Sting - Tori Amos]

I gotta write this down. It was too weird.

I was being shuffled into the Catholic church I grew up in. I was wearing an oxford shirt and navy pants and a tie, the normal school uniform. I was standing in a pew, and thinking 'God, here we go again. How boring can we get?' Suddenly, an old schoolmate, Nick Ridenour, was getting up to do the first reading. It was Epistle of Paul's, but I can't remember what. He was going along reading just fine, but he was buttoning up his shirt and putting his tie on at the same time. Then he started improving the reading; he went on about purity and cleanliness, and how showering got you one type and not the other. I was amazed that he was doing this, cause you don't just go freestyle on the Bible. And people knew what was going on, but there were more and more people coming into the church, so we were being packed in and shuffled around. The priest did nothing, the principal of my high school (principal now, not when I was there, interestingly) checked over her Bible reading notes, and it looked like she knew something was wrong but kept on moving to the entrances to the church. She had more important things to worry about.

And then a damn telemarketer called, waking me up. The first interesting dream I have in weeks, and a fucking telemarkter on a Saturday ruins it.

Last night's dinner went off well. We watched Lock, Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels, funny ass movie. Oi! Matt was again a posterchild for ADD (I ain't got nuthin' but love for yas, Matty!). We're supposed to sit down at 6:30. I know that not everyone's going to be there at 6:30, but that's cool, I planned for 7:00.

At 6:50, Matt calls and says 'what's going on?'
I reply, 'We're waiting for you.'
'Oh, I thought it was at 6:30'
'It is, Matt. Its 6:50 right now.'
'Oh. Um. Shit. Be right there!' *click*

Later that evening, we were talking about college towns and bars, and how that there ratio of bars to colleges is always greater than one. Matt chimes in that he knows a college in a town, in BOSTON, that is totally dry. We all wait for a second, then cheeky bastard I am, chimes in, 'Um, Boston isn't dry, dude.' Everyone starts laughing, and Matt qualifies that he meant town outside of Boston. The pause in the conversation as we all focused on Matt's words was the culmination of years of listening skills. It was aweseome.

It may sound like I'm totally ragging on Matt cause he says and does lots of funny things. So lets set the record straight here. Matt's a good guy, who sometimes forgets that one last thought check before he says or does something but he's not stupid at all. And even if he was, he's got about 10x more social courage than I do. Where I'll be a wallflower and convince myself that I'm going with the flow of the party, Matt will go up and talk to people and come away with a ton of new phone numbers of people who want to hang out (men and women). That's not my style, but I do envy the attitude he has about it. So there.

The lower 1/2 of my computer screen died yesterday. I think its the LCD screen, and not the video card or OS. I'll pop an external monitor on it so's I can see, then jump through the Alienware hoops (uninstall and reinstall the video card drivers, reset the bios, reinstall xp), then tell them that its surely rogered. Since I have a warranty on it, welcome to my new LCD screen. They just better make it quick.

I have a full day of lab work to do, sans computer, and I'd like to hit the gym (open till 6 PM, woot!). I need to get all the calcs done for my purification data tonight, so tomorrow I'm free to plan what to do on Monday. Bwah-hah-hah! Tonight, I'm doing nothing. Prolly reading, maybe playing some WoW.
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God is dead. Time to meet the kids. [Apr. 14th, 2005|01:24 pm]
[Current Mood |quixoticquixotic]
[Current Music |Tori Amos - Cars and Guitars]

This week has been busy. Lots of work in lab, working on my TA section, trying to actually accomplish something sometime. The one big perk is that one of my students said that I was doing a good job in my TA section; they had actually transferred out of another because the TA just didn't care. Like many things, I realize they happen, but I don't understand the underlying rationale. TAing a section but not caring is one of them. Women logic is another one.

Gibney is coming down today to go to a talk on phytoremediation of mercury and arsenic about 3 PM. I got just one more thing to do, and I'm done for lab work for the day. After the talk, I'm sure there will be dinner, and then grocery shopping for dinner tomorrow. And then picking up the house, since I have made it another fine mess, Stan.

Read Neil Gaiman's excerpt from Anansi Boys. Between Tori and Neil, I think there is very little whimsy left for anyone else in the world. They are like avatars of mercurial laughter.

This weekend is *surprise* more lab work. Blech. Hopefully I'll have time to do some reading. I have so many books that need to be consumed. Oh and the gym. I'm going to get on a regular schedule, I swear.
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tired and in pain [Apr. 12th, 2005|01:20 am]
[Current Mood |discontentdiscontent]
[Current Music |Must Be Dreaming - Frou Frou]

Ok, I really overdid the chest/bicep workout on Saturday. Goddamn, it hurts.

Woke up after two hours to Te-Wen yelling in the house. I can forgive her. She has a tight ass. She's also quite sweet and her aggressive nature makes me giggle. I think that infuriates her, since she's used to being feared by people. She's also a big dork, even if she's a jock dork. Anyways.

Had some McCallan tonight. Hopefully that will help me sleep. Its 1:30 AM and I'm wideawake. So the web. Warren Ellis is a tiny God. Frou Frou has piqued my interest. Evangeline almost made me feel bad, but then my primary OS reasserted itself. I'm trying to compose a productive email, cause there's no point in tearing into her; I made my point.

I need a picture for Friendster.
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Little Earthquakes [Apr. 11th, 2005|01:44 pm]
[Current Mood |morosemorose]
[Current Music |The Power of Orange Knickers- Tori Amos]

The older I get, the more I love Tori Amos' music, especially the early stuff from Little Earthquakes, Under the Pink and Boys for Pele. Fucking rock and so true.

The concert was fucking awesome except two things. First, asshats with digi-cameras. Just cause you can sneak them in doesn't make it cool to take pics w/ the flash on. The flash won't work well when you're in the fucking balcony anyways!! Even less when she's the only light on stage! Morons. Second, the group-of-losers-who-need-to-yell -to-make-sure-everyone-knows-they-are-at-a-concert can all die by choking on flaming baby shit.

Ok, that's out of my system.

I went to the concert with Brian and Kara (Gib-lurken). Kara made some comment early on that got me thinking; she said that I was in love with Tori. I don't think that's true but there is something about her that I do love, and I think I had forgotten it until last night. When Tori sings, she sings her heart out. She's not one with her piano, the piano is her lover. She caresses, thrums and strokes the keys, and musical ecstasy rides over you. She tickles and teases, she make the piano thunder and shake and hum. Its sensual and sexy and perfect. When the spot light shines on her, and she sings into the microphone directly in front of her, she's greater than any angel. You feel like the gods have put the spotlight on her not to show us mortals this amazing artist, but rather the gods want a better look at what this muse is creating under their noses. Everyone is under her power, all are slaves to her creative juices, her pain and her pleasure.

Tori had a litle story for us right after Horses:

"So, uh Natashya has been sent off to bed but she wanted me to bring something for her tonight. I don't know why. She doesn't have any history in Hartford that I know of. I don't think she has had any play group love affairs here. Anyway, she wanted me to bring out Lily. (Brings out the doll from behind her back) Lily is here in honor of Tash tonight. Natashya says--"I like Lily because she does this with her head." (Tori and Lily tilt their heads to the side in a bimboish pose)
"See, Natashya the thing is that women do that with their heads."
"Really Mommy?"
"Yes, wait till you get to LA, right. She doesn't remember having been there. It is a concept in her mind. She doesn't know what they do out there. She doesn't know that we will be having these conversations. Are they real Mommy? That's going to be happening very soon and you are going to see this over in LA. So anyway, this is Lily. If she gets lost and if you see here anywhere just bring here to the show. She belongs to Natashya. Its wonderful being with you tonight and we are out until the middle of September. (Tori starts stroking the doll's hair). And I can't believe I'm playing with Lily. (She throws the doll back over her shoulder and everyone laughs.)

So a few minutes later, when she's singing Jackie's Strength, while singing the line "You're only popular with anorexia" she pops her head to the side with great bimbo-spirit. As always, she has a great rapport w/ the audience.

The set list was:

Original Sinsuality
Beauty Queen
Jackie's Strength

59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) - (Simon & Garfunkel cover)
Me And Bobby McGee (Janis Joplin cover)

Mrs. Jesus
Marys Of The Sea
Silent All These Years
Ribbons Undone
Spring Haze
The Beekeeper

1st Encore

Cloud On My Tongue

2nd Encore

Sweet The Sting

They were all good songs, but I really wanted more from the earlier stuff. I love Precious Things, Tear in You Hand, and Space Dog. Hopefully she'll feel like playing them with the band. And yes, I'm going to the plugged tour too. I'm hooked again. Oh, and any woman who ever wants to win my heart, just sing Leather to me. If you are the woman in Leather, you are all that I need.

After the concert, I was in lab till 3 AM. Then I woke up at 7 AM to go to lab meeting. Yay for me. At lab meeting, Janice announced she had gotten engaged last week. Yay even more. Some days, it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. I had a month of good times (see the previous post), starting with the Ides of March. Caesar was an honorable man, but that didn't save him or the Empire.

Can somebody tell me now who is this terrorist those girls that smile kindly then rip your life to pieces?
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I'm late in coming [Apr. 9th, 2005|10:35 pm]
[Current Music |Ask DNA - The Seatbelts]

If only that was true in all senses of the phrase.

Its been quite awhile since I posted. Here are a few highlights.

3 weeks ago we had a great party at Studio 201. Lots of people, good people. Lots of booze, salsa dancing, beer chess, and easily-smashed asian girls. What more can you ask for? The top of the world is seen, a beautiful picture is taken. A picture of Lorri, Chris and I is also taken but it also expounds on Chris' nipples. Unfortunate for the world!

2 weeks ago, I went to NYC. Rollins was doing some spoken word at the Zipper Theater, so me, the Schamis bros and Sarah (ES's gf) got some tickets for it. Oh the fun. The first night, Micah picks me up at Grand Central like I'm a cheap whore. Didn't even ask for prices, just cuffed me and showed me where to get subway tickets. On the subway, I have a few minutes of a strange claustrophobia. There were so many people! It was scary and exhilirating after being cloistered in lab for so long. Micah and I chill at his grandma's apartment. She thinks I'm Eamon, which is almost understandable. She's old and a bit addled, but sweet. I sleep on the floor after unsuccessfully trying two of his airmattresses that had leaks. Second day/night, Eamon and Sarah show up. Eamon is introduced to his new 1/2 asian brother from Ohio. Sarah has some Jane Austin club meeting where they will sacrifice babies and eat scones and drink darjeeling tea, or something. We drop her off and go hunting for food. Into Chinatown! Micah suggests dimsum. Eamon and I are hungry and demand food, the sketchier the better. We go into a dive of a chinese restaurant but it has GREAT food. I have a bowl of noodles with meat wontons, slices of pork and duck, and a pork roll. For like 5 bucks. The tea was so hot, it was this close to plasma. I think if it didn't sublimate into a 5th dimension we would have been destroyed in some fiery conflagaration. The tea was dispensed from an ice tea container, much like you see in other restaurants. However, such containers cannot bring tea to such temperatures. They instead had a tiny star in their basement that they used to brew the tea, then brought the tea up IN A LARGE GREEN BUCKET and dumped it into the tea dispenser. We devour our oriental treasures like they were made of a white powder substance. Into Little Italy for...Japanese knickknack stores! We kick around a store a few blocks from the restaurant. Micah explains the various pastel/fluorescent items and their functions to Eamon and me. I stand incredulous that these things were made by humans for humans. We tool around a bit, go back into the city to pick up sarah, then have coffee. We ride down to Times Square and wander around looking for the theater. Zipper is a great place. Its small, comfy and dark. Hank is in great form, yelling truth at the top of his lungs. His throbbing neck veins are more real than anyone's life. We have a great time. After the show, we tool around Time Square looking for food and fun. We give praises at the altar of consumerism, a 3 story montage of a woman advertising for Target. We wander around, realize we really don’t want to spend money on Time Square food, and catch the metro back into Forest Hills (where the Jews and Japs live, according to M. Schamis). We stop at a diner and have buffalo burgers, and drink cokes and water cause we are dehydrated like Paris Hilton after filming. We go back to the apartment, arrange bedding and what not. For the first hour or so, Sarah hangs w/ us and we have a great Kenyon-esque conversation. We are way to educated for our own good. Then Sarah, like all girls, winds down and kicks us out of the living room. We go into Micah’s room, and shoot the shit for even longer period of time. Fucking marvelous. Happiest I’ve been in several years. The next day, Micah is in torpor till late, then they take me back into the city to GCS. On the train ride into the city, I mention to Micah that Jon Stewart had made some sort of joke about some NYC rappers having a tiff and getting back together again. He says quickly ’50 Cent and The Game.’ I’m kinda surprised about how he has his thumb on the pulse of the urban culture. I conclude later that its because everyone in NYC knows about NYC happenings. Its like an automatic knowledge point, factoids that diffuse into you with the pollution. Not five minutes after Micah exhibits his Lore: NYC Rappers ability, 3 black dudes in ghettolicious attire start a conversation with each other. The most surreal experience ever – they went from comparative engineering of AK-47s to Foxy Brown to 50 Cent and The Game in about 10 minutes, in that order. It was so perfect.

Ok, that was a 24 hour intermission. More on how that went down at the end of this session. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

Last week I went up w/ most of my Shadowrun group to a gaming convention at Smith College. It was a disorganized con, but that’s about par for small college conventions. I went to demo some White Wolf games, gave out a bunch of swag and had a good time. Except for the after con events. Matt makes friendly with one of the con girls, who invites us back to her house where a ‘pink’ party is taking place. Never one to turn down a party at an all girls college, I, of course, am there with bells on. First thing that should have turned me down is the INS-like investigation into my age, name, favorite color etc. If they would have just asked if I was 1) male and 2) straight, we could have fast forwarded quite a bit. Back to the party. To get a plastic band around our wrists for entrance, our names are logged into a book that I’m sure will be used to track down all males I have ever associated with and castrate them, and thereby freeing all the womyn they have ever oppressed. Was that a digression? Oh yes. After the logging of my name for the eventual investigation into all XY chromosome bearers I have ever met, there comes the Test of Alcohol. Ok, we’re at a college campus, a small one at that. I forgot that some people aren’t legally able to buy booze. So I hand over my ID, which is gone over with a blacklight, and am certified over 21. Another plastic band is wrapped around my wrist. Feeling quite bound by their chauvinistic plastic wrist wraps, I follow Matt, who is in charge of searching for alcohol by default. He finds it in the form of 3 jello shots. Lousy jello shots made with, I’m sure, rubbing alcohol and the bile of neutered dogs. And only 3 of them. For god’s sake, if this is what the world is like when women are in charge, I’m glad I live in a male-dominated society. With our gelatinous courage consumed, we enter onto the dance floor, where things are looking up. Lots of women, a few men (Navy Choir or something was visiting. Whatever). Some pretty, some not, some hot, but all look like they’re having a good time. Some are grinding on each other. A few start taking off shirts. What a great party, right? So why does everyone look so damn angry with me? Is it just me? No, the rest of the guys are getting similar looks. Hmmm…have I killed any Smithy relatives? If so, it was by accident and likewise slipped my mind. I cannot fathom the vibe of this room, angry and unfun. After about 30 minutes, I leave and go back to the con to find my host. I confer and confide with the girls remaining there that the party was a bit off. “Oh, that’s because that Haven House is a man-hating militant lesbian house! Tee-hee!” I was my hands of these girls. If I go back next year, I’m demanding a hotel room, an appropriate escort who wants to have fun, and a listing of all non-man hating parties. This, my friends, was bullshit.

We’re finally on this week. Woot. Not much happened this week, of interest. Worked my ass off in lab, and hopefully have something to show for it. I’ll have to do data analysis tomorrow morning. Last night, I asked Matt if he wanted to go out to a new club/lounge in New Haven that I read about (Firehouse 12). He said ‘sure. I’m going to invite this girl, Morgen, who my friends have been trying to hook me up with for a bit, to go with us.’ Fine, I say. I’m out for a good time, good conversation, and a good drink. This was the cause of the 24 hour intermission, as I went out. Eat it! Well, Firehouse 12 ain’t quite open yet. Strike one for our hero. We mosey on to Café Bottega, which has a happening jazz band made up of locals. It was really fun, but the drink prices were awful. I have about a 3rd of a bottle of wine (Santa Anastasia, IIRC). Morgen, who is a nice but shy girl, makes good conversation. I enjoy the music. Matt is currently working on her tonight. More how that turned out next episode.

Tomorrow morning, I’m driving up to Brian and Kara’s for a brunch, chit-chat, and then a Tori Amos concert in Hartford. Its just her and a piano and a harpsichord. I can’t wait. This will be great.
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